September 2023
Your neighbor texts: “Canceled flight, could be days to get out of here 🙁 Any chance you can drop by our place and water the plants?” You reply, “Sure!” and head over. You’re greeted by a row of gorgeous orchids, and you take a moment to appreciate how they were featured at the couple’s recent wedding. Just as you start to tip the watering can over the first pot, you hesitate. You don’t have any plants of your own and are now realizing you have no clue how much water to give. But you’ve heard other people talk about overwatering… You put the watering can down, and text for advice.
You know that, without some additional expertise, you could unintentionally cause damage.
Your colleague emails: “I’m starting a mentoring program, and I’d love for you to be a mentor. I have someone in mind for you already, so if you agree, I’ll pop an intro meeting on your calendars.” You want to reply, “Of course!” as you are eager to support others. Then you start to think about the actual meeting, and concerns about awkward silences or shallow small talk cross your mind.
But are you also worried about unintentionally causing harm?You might be surprised to learn of Dr. Jean Rhodes’ foundational research from 2002 which documents a startling finding:
Having a mentor could be worse than having no mentor at all.
This research, focused on the well-known Big Brothers Big Sisters program, revealed that the youth on the waiting list for a mentor could actually fare better than those who were successfully matched with an adult mentor, particularly when the mentor did not follow through on the year-long mentoring commitment. Without follow-through, mentoring can have an adverse rather than positive impact. The take-away? When working in a mentoring space, we need to hold to an ethical principle of “do no harm.”
We can be tempted to assume that good intentions brought to a program will lead to positive impact. And yet, all mentoring, even with good intentions, needs some attentiveness. While many of us work in professional organizational spaces, where the potential harm is on a different scale than for youths matched with adult mentors, we should still be vigilant, given the complex world we are living in. Mentoring programs have the potential to bring immense value. We can and should work to minimize risk of harm and maximize outcomes for all involved. Our mentoring intent is not the same as our mentoring impact.
People raise their hands to mentor because they want to help. And program designers can set them up for success. For example, research shows that mentors are more confident and effective when they know the role they are expected to fill. A mentor handbook or orientation event can clearly communicate expectations, from logistics (“monthly 30-minute meetings for 6 months”) to the types of activities (“building your mentee’s network via introductions to others in the org”).
Selected strategies: set mentors up for success
💡 Include opportunities for your mentors to reflect on their role.
For example, we found that sharing the “do no harm” ethical principle of mentoring was eye-opening for some of our mentors at Microsoft. It conveys the gravity of the commitment they have undertaken, whatever it might be, even if the expectation is to show up for two coffee chats.
💡 Be open to offering mentor preparation.
Since not all mentors have had access to the preparation that supports effective mentoring, offer activities that can put everyone on the same page. Examples: use our video as a foundation for mentors to intentionally practice active listening; hire a facilitator trained in culturally aware mentoring to prepare mentors for listening to individuals with different lived experiences.
💡 Find avenues that bring your mentors together.
This can provide access to additional supports and perspectives. Examples: open a slack channel for all of the mentors to ask questions that come up in the course of the mentoring; create a shared doc where mentors can add their own tips; host an open coffee hour where mentors can connect with each other.
💡 Include opportunities for your mentors to reflect on their role.
For example, we found that sharing the “do no harm” ethical principle of mentoring was eye-opening for some of our mentors at Microsoft. It conveys the gravity of the commitment they have undertaken, whatever it might be, even if the expectation is to show up for two coffee chats.
💡 Be open to offering mentor preparation.
Since not all mentors have had access to the preparation that supports effective mentoring, offer activities that can put everyone on the same page. Examples: use our video as a foundation for mentors to intentionally practice active listening; hire a facilitator trained in culturally aware mentoring to prepare mentors for listening to individuals with different lived experiences.
💡 Find avenues that bring your mentors together.
This can provide access to additional supports and perspectives. Examples: open a slack channel for all of the mentors to ask questions that come up in the course of the mentoring; create a shared doc where mentors can add their own tips; host an open coffee hour where mentors can connect with each other.
About this mentor thread
This is the first blog post in our thread about intention vs. impact. The series will prompt you to pause and reflect on your mentoring program to help bring your mentoring impact in closer alignment with your intent. Maybe you’ve just started one, or you’re thinking of starting one, or maybe you’re part of one already. Whatever your situation, our guess is that you’ve faced at least one of the pitfalls that we’ll be unpacking. Each post highlights research upon which we have built our own mentoring programs and will leave you with selected strategies to optimize your program’s value.
Up next… Words matter: share stories that empower
Why “encouraging” words can unintentionally deflate.
References
Grossman, J. B., & Rhodes, J. E. (2002). The test of time: Predictors and effects of duration in youth mentoring programs. American Journal of Community Psychology, 30, 199 –219.
Documents potential for harm from a mentoring program. Using an experiment and control group, researchers found a negative impact for individuals assigned a mentor (that did not see through the commitment) when compared to those without a mentor (on a waitlist).
Rhodes, J., Liang, B., & Spencer, R. (2009). First do no harm: Ethical principles for youth mentoring relationships. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 40(5), 452–458. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0015073
Offers five ethical principles to guide mentors, volunteers, and professionals. While developed for those who work with youth, these principles can provide useful insight for anyone considering the responsibility of a mentoring role.
Rockinson-Szapkiw, A.J., Sharpe, K. & Wendt, J. (2022). Promoting self-efficacy, mentoring competencies, and persistence in STEM: A case study evaluating racial and ethnic minority women's learning experiences in a virtual STEM peer mentor training. Journal of Science Education and Technology, 31, 386–402. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10956-022-09962-3
Describes a set of learning modules, involving scenarios and reflective journaling, designed to support mentors in their role, and the positive impact of that preparation for mentors.
House, S. C., Byars-Winston, A., Zárate, S., Azurdia, D. E., Birren, B., Cheng, P., Diggs-Andrews, K., Lee, S. P., Martínez-Hernández, K., McGee, R., Prunuske, A., Ramírez, K., & Sorkness, C. A. (2023). Guiding principles for culturally responsive facilitation: Lessons learned from delivering culturally aware mentor training to STEMM faculty. Journal of Diversity in Higher Education. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/dhe0000476
Provides six guiding principles geared towards those who are engaging mentors in cultural awareness. Although based on work with faculty in STEM, anyone who is preparing mentors to have candid conversations across race will benefit from learning about this work.